TO PARAPHRASE the great Dylan Moran, when it comes to relationships we are presented with two equally appealing options: loneliness or insanity.
Humans are demanding creatures. We need purpose, companionship, love, and regular distractions from the recurring disappointment that is life.
As we now find ourselves cast adrift in the vast limbo between major religious holidays, we begin searching for a day with minutely more significance than every other which surrounds it and is, essentially, exactly the same. So where do we look? Jesus? Overkill. Some major sporting event? Don’t go there. Pancakes? It’s been done.
Love? Bingo. Everyone loves love, right? Hence the appeal of Valentine’s Day – twenty four hours specifically designated to loving love. Yay. Don’t get me wrong, love is the best thing in the world – until the shit hits the fan.
Upon breaking up with someone, you become acutely aware that every single song, film, poem, book and basically the vast majority of any expression ever expressed boils down to love – or the lack thereof.
When nursing a broken heart, this drove me fucking insane. I listen to the radio – a lot. Due to this fact, I developed a repetitive strain injury in my index finger from frantically switching stations. Every time inane chit chat gave way to someone conveying their emotions through the medium of song, I couldn’t take it.
This was doubly annoying as I adore music – we’ve been through a lot together but, not unlike my ex, we needed some time apart. To most, Video Killed the Radio Star. To me, they could’ve worked it out through couples’ counselling. Damn you, Buggles.
During my recuperation I found solace in Joe Duffy. I knew where I stood with him – the government was incompetent, the weather was crap, the economy was worse and, in general, everyone hated each other. His show highlights the fact we’re doomed and embraces it.
Once the initial, almost unbearable ‘Oh God, every song reminds me of you’ pang begins to subside, music can prove extremely helpful in the heart healing process.
Breakup songs are cathartic, wonderful things – and, as Taylor Swift will testify, economically viable entities. The songstress, at the tender age of 23, has made a career largely based on lambasting her errant exes through catchy little pop ditties. A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, but by God she will dump your ass and sing.
Swifty is a relatively new recruit to the scorned singers’ club. Odes to lovers past are as old as music itself. Roy Orbison’s Heartbreak Radio is essential listening whether or not your lady done gone and left. Janis Joplin’s cover of Piece of My Heart is one of the most gut-wrenching songs every sung. Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone by Bill Withers drips into the ear canal like poisonous, bittersweet honey.
The heartbreak genre has taken on various forms throughout its existence, quite notably morphing into a behemoth in the ‘80s. Note to self: excess hairspray can lead to excess heartbreak (or perhaps vice versa). Whitesnake’s Here I Go Again on My Own and Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler are particularly stellar examples of this.
Those inclined to line dance their way out of a love rut, had to wait until the ‘90s to find some solace. By God, their patience was rewarded. Billy Ray Cyrus signed, sealed and delivered on that. There are countless heartbreak tunes You Oughta Know from that decade.
Modern break-up songs tend to centre around expletives and the repetition of the word ‘ever’ – just not at the same time. Whatever your taste in music, someone’s got your back. And let’s face it; New York City didn’t burn down to the ground when your significant other walked away.
All I know is; my ex-box was no Atari and I can once again listen to the radio without ending up sporting a rather fetching finger cast. My rehabilitation is complete.
Valentine’s Day is a great idea in theory, but then again so was the mullet – and we all know where that got us.
So, if presented with the option again, what would I choose – sanity or company? The jury’s still out.
This article was also published in Student Independent News, NUI Galway's student newspaper, and on Campus.ie and TheDailyShift.ie.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION is often viewed as irrelevant in western society, particularly in the eyes of young people. Despite this, sexuality-centred bullying and the use of gay-related derogatory termas are alarmingly common. Is this immature name-calling nothing more than just that or does it signify something more insidious? In Ireland, homosexuality was only decriminalised nineteen years ago. As a nation, do we still hold on to outdated but deep-rooted prejudices or is homophobia a part of our past?
Undoubtedly, this country has come a long way where the issue of gay rights in concerned. Mary McAleese's recent declaration of support for marriage equality will go down as a momentous occasion in Irish history. The former president, who is an active member of the Catholic Church, stated that gay people should be able to live their lives on their own terms and marry if they so choose. "I just think that people have this obsession somehow around sexuality with the idea of sex, forgetting what it is that family and partnership is about - it's about love and being there for another human being," she said.
Ciara Keighron (18) agrees with this stance. "Love is love, it doesn't matter who it's for. You can't say one person's love is better than another's," she says. Ciara is openly gay at college but her family do not know the truth about her sexuality. She cites fear as the main reason for this as "certain members of my family and friends definitely won't accept it". She has not experienced a lot of discrimination in Galway but recalls one particular occasion where a drunk man called her and a friend "f***ing lesbos" on a night out. She feels homophobes should not use alcohol as an excuse to disguise their bigotry as the truth often comes out when people have been drinking. "It's a case of idiots saying things, as opposed to idiots thinking things," she remarks.
Seán Reilly (21) came out two years ago. A close friend of his had actually come out in the months preceding this and he was the first person he told. He began to question his sexuality around the age of 14 but was not comfortable enough to come out while at school. He is a firm believer that our education system is doing a disservice to Irish society by not teaching children more about the various types of sexuality. He also thinks the government need to "remove the barriers" currently stopping gay people from marrying and adopting. "I would like to think that [gay marriage] will be legal by the time I want to marry," he adds.
Kealan Moore (30) would also like marriage and children to feature in his future. He has been sure of his sexuality for some time but did not come out publicly until last year. "I had been struggling with it for years and I tried to come out when I was 18 but, at the time, I just didn't have the proper social structure around me," he says. Although most people received the news well, his housemate did not and he almost ended up homeless as a result. "You learn that you can't live with certain people," he muses. He admits that coming out can be a huge learning curve for both the person themselves and those close to them.
Ian Power, of youth-centred charity SpunOut, agrees that telling people is not always easy but, if you choose someone you trust, the chances are they will be supportive. "Coming out as LGBT can be a hugely positive experience – a liberating time, when you embrace your sexuality. Whatever your sexual identity, remember it is only one part of your life, so embrace how you are feeling and enjoy being individual," he says.
He believes that Ireland has made significant progress in battling homophobia in the last ten years alone. "Society is much more accepting of LGBT people across all generations. We still have a long way to go and prejudice still exists in dark corners of society and the LGBT community is still fighting for many legal protections and rights which still have not been recognised by the state but my view of Ireland is certainly a positive one," he affirms. Figures released earlier this month by the Gay and Lesbian Equality Network show that every county in Ireland has now hosted a civil partnership ceremony, with 862 couples entering into such partnerships since they were first legalised in April 2011. A recent 'Sunday Times' poll suggested that 66 per cent of people in Ireland are in favour of same-sex marriage. Sexuality is a single aspect of a multi-dimensional person - it does not define them, nor should it define their rights or the way they are treated. Ireland, it would seem, is now more aware of this fact than ever before. This article was also published in Student Independent News, NUI Galway's student newspaper.
